Monday, December 3, 2018

Our Little Loa

Hey! I had a baby!
So Loa was due September 3. I went back to work in August for the first four weeks, which was awesome! I got to meet my students, get into a routine, and just a general feel for the school year. My last day was the Friday before Labor Day, and that Friday I said "Adios! See you in January!" to my students, handed off my maternity leave binder (more on that later), and went on my merry way. I was sure I was going to have a baby on September 3. Labor Day. Made perfect sense. Whoa, was I wrong. My type A personality was once again laughed at by nature. I waited. And waited. And WAITED. Loa finally made her grand entrance after 36 hours of labor (27 of which was natural), on September 11. We did not find out her gender beforehand, and hearing, "it's a GIRL!" from my husband is a moment I will never forget.


We had already decided on this sweet girl's name. Loa Ann Marie Duris. Her first name is my husband's Great Grandma's name. Her middle name(s), Ann Marie, is after ALL of her aunts and BOTH grandmothers. How awesome is that? 

         

She was just a little peanut. Everyone was stunned by how tiny she was for being born at 41 weeks and 1 day.

So here we are, a mere 12 weeks later. We are shuffling through, trying to get into a routine, and just making sure I brush my teeth everyday. Showering is a goal, and washing my hair? Well that's laughable.

 I have just about a month before I return to the classroom and just thinking about it makes me sad, excited, and anxious all in the same breath. While I miss a routine, feeling put together, and actually teaching. I am not excited for all of the other things.


If you're a teacher, you know what I mean by "other things".


So how do you do it? How do you go back when you know your sweet little baby is not with you? How do you balance the workload of a teacher, and the workload of being a mom, and a wife? 


I was soooooo naive before, thinking it would be easy. Thinking my Type A personality would allow me to walk back into my classroom, unscathed by motherhood, ready to jump back into it with eagerness. But here I am, thinking about leaving this sweet little girl and my heart just breaks, because what if I'm not there, and she just wants her momma? 


So how did you do it? How did you go back to work?